Sunday, September 11, 2011

Remebering 9/11

I could not think of a better title for today 's post, as we honor all those who lost their lives ten years ago today. I pray that their souls rest in perfect peace. And to all the people they left behind I pray that God will continue to give them the strength to carry on with their lives.

I had a "discussion" with my hubby last night as it had been weighing on me for a while, when I was in my teens my sisters and I did not really have a handful of female friends, it was usually two at a time mind to there was no reason in particular, I guess because we had each other then, but what we did have a more than a handful of male friends as in hmmmm..., as we grew older we realized that more than half of our so called male friends wanted more than friendship, I remember right before I finished secondary school I had two male "best friends" who were best friends too, I would tell them all and every thing I was up to, and they would in turn do the same they taught me how to know if a guy genuinely liked me, if he was a player and so on, what I didn't know was that they both wanted a relationship with me but were just I guess waiting for the right time. to cut my long story short they both took turns in telling me how they felt and I took turns in turning them both down, I just could not see myself in a relationship with either of them, which brings me to my personal philosophy " I do not think that women and men can do the whole best friends thing" it may have worked for you, or is still working for you, that is great but I personally do not think it is healthy, another example, I have a co worker at work who was hired the week I had gone on vacation, when I returned to work, I met him and we soon became buddies because he was african, and we both shared best friends who were brother and sister, in fact we had been in the same wedding party but didn't even speak to each other, maybe because my hubby and I were in the same wedding party lol, anyway this guy knows am married but still decided to try to pursue a relationship with me, he started with the best friend thing, when that didn't work he flat out put all his cards on the line and told me how he felt, lets just say homeboy got his heart broken.

To be continued. ..

Friday, September 2, 2011

Happy new month everybody, I have really missed blogging oh, infact I have been reading other blogs but too lazy to update mine. I have a lot going on in my life right now and sometimes I feel like putting my emotions in words but am just too scared cause then I feel like I have been exposed, and been a very private person I find it really hard to open up to people, even people that I thought I was close to, I cannot seem to open up to them.
One of my major problems is trusting people, I have so many people I could call and talk to but one experience had me so scared that I dont think I can ever trust anybody other than members of my family. am so thankful to God for my hubby he has been a very good support system for me, I have not spoken to my four of my close friends in two and the half months, not that am angry with them or that they have done something to me, I just have not been feeling connected to them at all and I feel horrible about it, I did send them emails explaining what I was feeling and am glad they understood and kinda gave me some space, now I feel like am ready to reconnect with them, and am feeling I have been selfish and don't deserve their friendship. I honestly don't know how to go about it. on a more happier note my mum is coming to visit in a months time and am super excited for her to be here, although my dad is having a hard time letting her go since she will be here for xmas, I don't know maybe I should surprise him with a ticket right before christmas. I feel so good after writing my feelings down, hope I didn't bore you guys with my thoughts.

May the month of september be a blessing to us in Jesus name Amen.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Is This Love Or Destiny?

Sixteen years ago, my uncle lets call him Ejike had found the gal of his dreams and wanted to marry her, lets call her Ugbo,  when Ugbo told her parents of Ejike's intentions, they were a upset because people from there place do not marry people from Ejike's place, even though they were Ibo's. After pleading with her parents they kinda agreed but not totally because the patriarch of the family (Ugbo's grandfather) had to approve of the impending union.
When it was brought to his attention of the said marriage proposal, Ugbo's grandpa through a fit, he cursed the day Ugbo was born and the day my uncle was born too as there love was seen as an atrocity in his eye. after much pleading he still did not agree, and so Ugbo was married off to some other guy that suited her grandfather. My uncle since moved from the village and went to live in another state, never forgetting his one true love. he later married another woman and lived his life quietly, unfortunately Ejike and his wife never had any children, and Ugbo had three kids with her husband.
Twelve years after Ejike and Ugbo had wanted to get married and were unsuccessful, they both divorced their spouses for different reasons, Ugbo decides to move her kids to the same state where Ejike lives in, not knowing he lived there. anyways to cut my long story short Ejike and Ugbo are now married and they both have two sons together.

Present Day........
I walking into my office building and a voice from the security desk greets me good morning, I turned to respond and there was a young man about 26yrs or so sitting and  smiling at me, I smiled back and said good morning to him and just kept walking.  as I have been feeling nauseous for quit some while now,our vending machine had been my new best friend since it has ginger ale in itwhile putting the money in the machine I heard the same voice from this morning saying hi to me and I turned to respond and it was the same young man at the security desk, so I said my hello and was getting ready to leave when he asks me if he could as me a question and I said sure, thinking to myself what could he possibly want to ask me?  This is how our conversation went
Him " am so sorry to bother you, just that am new here and am just trying to be familiar with the people that work here"
Me " oh sure no problem, how long have you been working here?"
Him " Oh I just started at the end last month"
Me " Oh ok, that's good, do you like it?"
Him " yeah I do, its really easy"
Me " That's good, sorry I have to go, it was nice meeting you"
Him "My name is Brandon"
Me " Oh am sorry my name is XYZ"
Him" Please do not get upset but I think you know my girlfriend"
Me looking puzzled " huh?"
Him " You are Nigerian right?"
Me "yes, how did you know?"
Him "My girlfriend is Nigerian, her name is ABC"
Me looking all crossed eyed " you must  be joking?"
Him "No am dead serious that my baby"
Me half laughing and half crying " oh am sorry I was just surprised, I didn't know she was dating anybody" and saying in my mind "talk more of dating a security guard"
Him " Oh no worries that's ok, no offence taken, when I told her I worked here she told me that one of her cousins worked here too and she gave me a description of you that was how I could tell you were Nigerian"
Me " How long have you guys been dating?"
Him "We have been together for about seven months now"
Me "wow, dats nice, sorry I have to go back to work, it was nice chatting with you, bye"
Him "bye, oh please do not tell her parents,"
Me "why would you think I would tell her parents"
Him " do not act like you do not know, they will never approve of me, more so you yourself were a bit surprised when I told you"
Me "It is not my place to tell her parents anything ABC is a grown woman, she can do that just by herself"
Him " Thank you, have a great day"
Me "you are welcome, bye"

And that ended my conversation with Brandon. I want back to my office and almost called my cousin, but decided that it was really not my place to judge who she is with, let me give you guys a little insight to my family. my cousin ABC had three brothers and one sister, she is the third child, but the first gal, her oldest brother is almost done with medical school, her immediate elder brother just finished law school, she is a middle school teacher, her immediate younger brother just graduated from college and is getting ready to go to medical school, so you can imagine my surprise when this guy who happens to be African American tells me he has been dating my cousin for seven month and her own mother does not even know about it, to say that I am shocked dis an understatement, I am not in any way prejudiced, am just surprised that she would be dating someone outside our community because she really did notuntil she was done talking and I said a silent prayer and asked her " what college did he go to?" she was quite for a while and then said he never graduated high school.  eh  isi gini? (what did you say) she repeats her self again. that was when I knew that she indeed dead. lol
I as a mother still do not know if I could ever allow any of my kids marry someone outside my race (Ibo) It is something I battle within myself everyday and I pray that when the time comes, I would maybe see things differently, what I just do not get is how a college graduate who is in the process of starting her masters would end up with a guy who did not go to college, but never graduated high school?  Her mother has already started planning her wedding, has the color for her friends aso ebi, and she is planning to take home a security officer that makes a minimum of $15/hr. I am not judging again am just stating what I believe is the obvious,
Thinking about her made me remember my uncle and how he was separated from his love for twelve years simply because her people were not allowed to marry people from my place, yet they have both somehow found themselves again and living happily ever after. His experience I can totally relate to and even get mad cause it was just because she grandfather was been a hard head, right? but my cousin ABC whose parent came to the united stated with just two luggage's and $10, worked two three jobs to make sure she and her brothers ave the best education and the best things of life, decided she would fall in love with a security guard makes me quetion if this is true love or just her destiny to marry a security officer.


Monday, April 18, 2011

In A Sober mood.........

My people,
   Am in a very sober mood/emotional mood these days, and it has been taking a toll on me, recently I saw a facebook post about a Nigerian gal in Huston that passed away a week today and my heart just sunk cause from what I saw she was a very loving and vibrant Young lady, she just got into med school and just the thought of having her burial planned by her parents is so heartbreaking, I pray that God grants her family the strenght to bear their loss, and to the sweet Chioma may ur gentle soul rest in perfect peace.....
  On another note it really makes me sad to see young people die and I urge everyone to take out a little time to pray everyday and love our families and Friends, spend everyday like its our last. 
  I think I lost a friend, not sure yet, cause she is not taking my calls so am just going to wait another week, if she does not return my call then I guess its over, lol, but seriously you guys will even laugh if you heard what happened but its ok, life goes on.  You guys have a blessed week and I will be back soon

Saturday, March 12, 2011

A Lovely Blog Award!!!!!!

Hi Everyone,
  Wow, I feel so special been tagged by Myne for a lovely blog award and I am totally grinning from ear to ear,  I have been through a very rough couple of weeks, I will try to blog  about that later tonight,
The award requires me to;
--> Link the award back to the blogger who gave it to me
--> Tell you guys seven facts about me you do not know
--> Pass the award to at least fifteen blogs I recently found
--> Notify the bloggers of their awards.

 here goes

1-->  I am the 5th child of my lovely parents.
2-->  I have four sisters and two brothers, the boys came last, so if you are a Nigerian you can probably tell why lol, my dad is totally going to kill me (Nigerian men and boys)
3--> I had my first job at the age of 17 and it was as a receptionist at this high class guest house and up till today my parents never knew where I worked cause I was too scared to tell them, and I promise you I didn't do anything bad even though I got offers that were out of this world :)
4--> I married my first ever real boyfriend and I am proud to say, that has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.
5--> I married my husband when I was in my very early twenties.
6--> I have three kids, two are my biological children and my oldest is my adopted child, hell I feel so old saying I have three kids, and am not even in my thirties yet lol.
7--> I have two full time jobs and go to school partime, I would love to blog everyday but, because I have my hands and legs full I cannot, but I promise to make out time to blog...

I hereby give the following bloggers this lovely blog award

Mrs newly wed
Myne (sorry I couldn't help not tagging you, lol)
Rita of Erolyrics

I hope you guys enjoy yourselves hopefully am not that boring.....   stay blessed.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Rediscovering My Nigerian Roots

Hi Everybody,
I am so excited and scared to be here and I am still trying to get my thought process together but until I do please do enjoy something that I am currently enjoying myself, Nigerian music: OMG! I have been in the dark for soooo long and I just now realised how far our Nigerian artists have come and boy am I proud to say am loving  all and every Nigerian music I can lay my hand on. So far my favourites are; Flavour Nabania, Timaya, Lynxx, oh and not to forget the ladies Asa, Ego and co... But for now please enjoy Flavour 's I dey catch cold (Oyi).

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


I just got back from work, and my whole body arch's but I still feel the need to give way to what my heart really want so here I am giving birth to what I hope will be a child that will help me change the lives of everyone I meet.  My name is Adellemaria and I am a Nigerian living in the Desperado I want to use this medium to grow as a daughter, wife, mother, and student in all aspects of my life so feel free to stop by and show my baby some love she is really pretty and would love to be loved.
   Have a Blessed night.