Sunday, September 11, 2011

Remebering 9/11

I could not think of a better title for today 's post, as we honor all those who lost their lives ten years ago today. I pray that their souls rest in perfect peace. And to all the people they left behind I pray that God will continue to give them the strength to carry on with their lives.

I had a "discussion" with my hubby last night as it had been weighing on me for a while, when I was in my teens my sisters and I did not really have a handful of female friends, it was usually two at a time mind to there was no reason in particular, I guess because we had each other then, but what we did have a more than a handful of male friends as in hmmmm..., as we grew older we realized that more than half of our so called male friends wanted more than friendship, I remember right before I finished secondary school I had two male "best friends" who were best friends too, I would tell them all and every thing I was up to, and they would in turn do the same they taught me how to know if a guy genuinely liked me, if he was a player and so on, what I didn't know was that they both wanted a relationship with me but were just I guess waiting for the right time. to cut my long story short they both took turns in telling me how they felt and I took turns in turning them both down, I just could not see myself in a relationship with either of them, which brings me to my personal philosophy " I do not think that women and men can do the whole best friends thing" it may have worked for you, or is still working for you, that is great but I personally do not think it is healthy, another example, I have a co worker at work who was hired the week I had gone on vacation, when I returned to work, I met him and we soon became buddies because he was african, and we both shared best friends who were brother and sister, in fact we had been in the same wedding party but didn't even speak to each other, maybe because my hubby and I were in the same wedding party lol, anyway this guy knows am married but still decided to try to pursue a relationship with me, he started with the best friend thing, when that didn't work he flat out put all his cards on the line and told me how he felt, lets just say homeboy got his heart broken.

To be continued. ..

Friday, September 2, 2011

Happy new month everybody, I have really missed blogging oh, infact I have been reading other blogs but too lazy to update mine. I have a lot going on in my life right now and sometimes I feel like putting my emotions in words but am just too scared cause then I feel like I have been exposed, and been a very private person I find it really hard to open up to people, even people that I thought I was close to, I cannot seem to open up to them.
One of my major problems is trusting people, I have so many people I could call and talk to but one experience had me so scared that I dont think I can ever trust anybody other than members of my family. am so thankful to God for my hubby he has been a very good support system for me, I have not spoken to my four of my close friends in two and the half months, not that am angry with them or that they have done something to me, I just have not been feeling connected to them at all and I feel horrible about it, I did send them emails explaining what I was feeling and am glad they understood and kinda gave me some space, now I feel like am ready to reconnect with them, and am feeling I have been selfish and don't deserve their friendship. I honestly don't know how to go about it. on a more happier note my mum is coming to visit in a months time and am super excited for her to be here, although my dad is having a hard time letting her go since she will be here for xmas, I don't know maybe I should surprise him with a ticket right before christmas. I feel so good after writing my feelings down, hope I didn't bore you guys with my thoughts.

May the month of september be a blessing to us in Jesus name Amen.